To Surrender All

It began after my son had been sick for a year straight. He was three and I spent hours fretting and worrying over him. We were in and out of doctor’s offices, he was poked and prodded, and then had two surgeries.

I was weary of the roller coaster of emotions. I knew I needed to fix my heart on something other than fear. That year, I chose this verse from Psalms as my verse for the year: “He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the LORD” (Psalm 112:7).

Since then, I’ve chosen a verse at each new year and spent the whole year meditating on it, learning from it, dwelling on it, and being changed by it. Last’s years was “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13). The year before that was “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).

I always start out with an expectation on what I think I will learn from the verse and how I think God will change me. Over the course of the year, I find that my lessons go deeper than I anticipated. He takes me to different places and shows me things I never noticed before. In fact, He changes me in ways I never dreamed. Sometimes it is painful. I learn things about myself that is difficult to see. He pulls away layers of my heart that were thick and resistant, making it that much more painful. But then there’s that feeling of losing a burden and I know it was for my good.

Last year’s verse was summed up in one word: Seek. And seek him I did. Through prayer, through the word, through trials, disappointments, valleys and hills, I sought him. There were times when the fog of life’s circumstances was so thick that I could barely see the light of truth, but I knew it was there. And as I sought Christ last year I realized that this year I needed to focus on surrendering myself to him. I discovered unexpected areas of my life that needed yielding. I found idols that needed removal. Expectations that needed handing over.

To be honest, I struggled a bit to find a verse that fit what I know I need in my life this year. But a friend reminded me of Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” While it doesn’t have the word surrender in it, I think it’s just the verse I need. This year, I need to focus on surrendering to Christ my very self. I need to walk by faith and not by sight and in order to do so, I need to crucify those things that distract me. I need to give up all that is mine so that I can be fully his.

Surrender. It’s a little word but not little in its implications.

How about you? Do you have a verse or word that you focus on for the year? What do you anticipate God will do in you this year?