I’ve said this before in postings past that being a mom has made me more aware of my sin. Of course I always new that I was a sinner, but either I sin more since being a mom or am more aware of my sins. When I was a working professional, I was probably in more of a denial about my sin since I worked primarily with those who were uneducated, impoverished, mentally ill and addicted I tended to feel better about myself and looked down on them. At least I’m not living like so and so… And this awareness of sin has even increased more now that I have two children. I can no longer boast about being organized or always on time (as indicated by my being late to church this morning. Anyone who knew me prior to kids would be shocked and astounded that I could be late to anything:). Some of my problems are related to my postpartum issues, and lack of sleep but I am convicted that the rest is surely related to my own sin. I frequently have conflicts with Ethan and wonder what in the world is going on and then when I get a chance to step out of the situation and reflect on things, I realize that I am not where I need to be spiritually and psychologically and this is reflected in Ethan’s behavior. My selfishness is even more apparent than before as I am always complaining about not having time to myself, not getting enough sleep etc. I am praying David’s prayer for a clean heart and the Holy Spirit’s work to make me into the mother God has called me to be. I have also been watching John and Kate Plus 8 on a daily basis so that I can remind myself that I have nothing to complain about. I can only imagine how it would be if I had 8 children and my life was documented on tv!