We have been blessed by so many people who have been thinking about and praying for Ethan. Thanks to everyone! He’s recuperating at home, has his box of tissues he carries with him from room to room:) He does really well during the day but at night he wakes up screaming and can’t be consoled. He says he doesn’t know how to explain what is wrong. We’re hopeful he’ll get a little better each day. No sports for a couple of weeks which is very hard for our little athlete:)

We saw the ENT after Ethan’s surgery and he said it went really well. So well that he said he could be released today. We went to see him in recovery and when we arrived they said he had been rather aggressive in coming out of the anesthesia, the nurse says “he is suprisingly strong1.” It was so hard for me to see him so out of it, thrashing around, screaming, and bleeding a lot. I started feeling really ill so I had to leave for a little bit and calm down. I felt like such an awfully weak mommy and really wished I weren’t like that. I wish I could be strong for my kids but I am so grateful for George who helped Ethan through it. Poor thing kept crying and didn’t know how to explain how he was feeling. It is such a weird feeling to have medication making you so drowsy and unable to stay awake. We are back at the hotel now and Ethan is resting. He can’t do much the next week or so and has this nice mustache made out of gauze taped under his nose. He’s in good spirits and handling everything well. We so appreciate everyone’s prayers for Ethan’s safety and are praying that this surgery will keep him from getting sick so frequently. God is good!

I’m sitting in the waiting room at Jackson Memorial Hospital as I write this. We got up at 5am this morning and took Ethan directly from sleeping to the car to head to the hospital. We were supposed to be there at 6am and his surgery was scheduled for 7:30. As it turns out, because we had to register first and there were dozens of other people waiting as well, he was not the first into surgery. When we finally got to a room to get prepped, they gave him some medication to keep him from being anxious before they took him into surgery. We prayed with him and kept him distracted with PBS Kids on the tv. There ended up being another delay because the doctor had to be on call for some emergency at the hospital. By the time they were ready to wheel him away, the medication had worn off and he was anxious and wanting to leave the hospital. As soon as they wheeled him away, I started crying. I could hear him crying down the hall as they took him into the elevator. The nurse stopped and then called for us to come with Ethan so he wouldn’t be so upset. They then asked one of us to go into the operating room to accompany him until they put him under. George of course was given that charge. George came out and said it was a good thing that I didn’t go in. I so wish I weren’t so emotional, especially about medical things but alas, I am. I had really hoped that he would not remember being taken to OR and how scared he felt, but I’m afraid that he may. He’ll be there for a few hours so I will work on keeping myself busy and praying.

Ian has at least one angel watching over him, though he could probably use a legion:) He seems intent on seriously injuring himself. Recently when we went to a dr.’s appt. he ran past a glass topped table that had a nice pointed corner on it and missed gouging his eye by a hair. This morning, I leave the room for one minute and rush back when I hear him screaming. He had fallen off of something he had climbed onto and when he landed he hit the back of his neck on the marble window sill. I feel like my heart stops several times each day! Each time I stop and thank God for his protection because it is certainly a miracle that Ian has made it this far!

Ethan received a butterfly kit for Christmas. We received the larvae earlier this month and have enjoyed watching their metamorphasis into butterflies. Today we let them fly away.

Having the date changed on Ethan’s surgery, caused some logistical craziness for us. Grandma can only come for one night so we weren’t sure what to do. We tossed around a number of ideas (bringing him with us, bringing Grandma with us to the hotel for one night, sending him to grandma’s for two nights) most of them not ideal. I realized that most of the other scenarios had me worrying too much about Ian and I didn’t want to be worried about both boys at the same time. I prayed about it knowing God would work it out and we were able to find another sitter to come the second night. At least now he will be able to remain at home, in his own crib with his own toys. He’s old enough to notice our absence but not old enough to understand why we are gone, where we have gone and when we will be back so I am concerned about his separation anxiety but being at home will help him overcome that. I think I may have some separation anxiety from him myself, I’ve not been away from him overnight before:) And he’s saying new words everyday-I know I’m going to miss something new:)!

I received a call from the surgeon’s office about Ethan’s surgery next week. Originally it was scheduled as an outpatient surgery but apparently after thinking more about it, the dr. decided to have it done at the hospital instead of the outpatient surgery center and have Ethan stay overnight for observation. Because of this change, they had to move his surgery date to 3/25. So we’ll be staying two nights in Miami, hopefully our sitter can watch Ian for two nights:)

Speaking of taking every thought captive, I’m having to confront my worries regarding Ethan’s surgery. He’s had many medical procedures and tests and in the past they didn’t phase him, mostly because he didn’t remember the previous experience so by the time he started becoming anxious, it was already over. The past couple of months, it seems he is now remembering his medical experiences and so his last allergy test was quite difficult for him and then his presurgical blood work this week was a challenge as well (I didn’t go, that’s a daddy job). So we are concerned about how he will handle his upcoming surgery. At this point, I’ve decided to not tell him anything different than we told him last time; we are going to see a special doctor that will help him with all the coughing he has so he won’t have to take medicine all the time. Not sure how well it will go over. We are praying that he is first in line for surgery as I know the dr. has numerous surgeries that day. It will be a challenge to keep him from being anxious if we have to sit and wait for hours and not allow him anything to eat or drink. So am handing this problem to the Lord and praying for his grace and mercy with Ethan and his surgery on the 23rd, won’t you pray with me?

My dad told me the other day that when he reads my blog sometimes he laughs and sometimes he wants to cry. I told him that’s because that is how life is: joys and sorrows, victories and challenges. This morning I would categorize in the laughter category. My dr. called yesterday to reschedule an appt. I had for Friday and made it for this morning at 8am. I don’t know about anyone else but it is hard to get my guys going in the morning. I usually have to wake Ethan up and prompt him through every step of getting ready. But I did everything I could to make sure we were up and ready-I even set my alarm:) As is true for the comedy of errors routine at our house we had a couple of time consuming issues this morning. First, Ian woke up with the worst diaper. I won’t go into details but it involved washing all of his bedding. Then when Ethan woke up he had an asthmatic cough and he said “mommy I think I need a breathing treatment.” (an emergency breathing treatment takes us half an hour). God was gracious and we managed to get to the appt. only a little late. I do have to say that God has been merciful to me because last year when I was really struggling with PPD, the chaos this morning would have brought me to tears and I would have been a mess all day. Instead, I am happy to say that I am laughing:)