Parenting for me is often like the process of sanctification. I grow and move forward in holiness and then I sin and am reminded of just how sinful I am. It would be so much easier to parent if I didn’t have the goal and intention of raising the kids in the instruction of the Lord.

But how can I ignore Deuteronomy 6:6,7 “And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”

Being convicted of this means that I can’t just send them to timeout and that’s the end of it. I have to take the time to instruct them in the word and remind them of the job God has given me. This takes extra time and many times I miss the opportunities. Maybe it’s because I’m in a rush or I’m tired and irritable, or am just plain lazy. And then there are times when I realize things I’ve said or my tone of voice and I feel loaded with guilt that I have said the very things I told myself I wouldn’t say. There are also times when I hear myself in Ethan and realized where he has learned his behavior from.  At the end of the day when I’m writing in my prayer journal, God shows me those missed opportunities and times when I was impatient and I’m reminded of his grace. How many times must he have the right to be impatient or frustrated with me but instead extends grace and mercy to me? 

And O how I relate to what I talked with Ethan about the other day. After he had been in timeout for an altercation with his brother, I asked him to sit with me and talk. He wanted the timeout to be the end of it and said “Why do you have to talk to me too?” (I guess it’s easier for them to just do timeout too!). And so I reminded him of my job as his parent; to keep him on the path of Life. I reminded him of our activity we did not that long ago where we drew a picture of trucks carrying their treasures that were on the path of Life and those that had gotten off the path and were headed for destruction. I said “If I let you get off the path and head down the path to destruction I would not be loving you and would not be doing what God has instructed me to do.” Ethan said “Mom, what I did is not that big of a deal, it’s not going to lead me to hell.” Me: “That may be true, but if I overlook each little thing that you do and you head off the path of Life a little more each time, before you know it you won’t be able to see the path of Life anymore because it will be so far away. And so each time you wander off the path, I will have to direct you back onto it whether you like it or not because I love you.” I reminded him of what happened to Christian in the Pilgrim’s Progressand how each time he got off the path, how dangerous it was and how he almost died along the way on the path to the Celestial City.

And so I am convicted of how many times as a parent I wander off the path God has set for me and am so grateful that he directs me back on and reminds me of the journey I am on and the eternal goal: teaching and training and leading these two eternal souls to Christ and preparing them for the journey God has in store for them in their future work for the Kingdom.  And I pray that God would point out to me the teaching opportunities and give me wisdom to know how to use those times to share God’s truth with them.  I pray as well that I would have patience to take the extra time to share God with them, regardless of what plan or agenda I may have. 

“My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life. I will teach you wisdom’s ways and lead you in straight paths. When you walk, you won’t be held back; when you run, you won’t stumble. Take hold of my instructions; don’t let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life.” Proverbs 4:10-13

We had a rather difficult day around our house yesterday.  Ethan had a rather lengthy melt down that lasted for hours; all triggered by having problems with a computer game he was playing.  I was extra firm with him and implemented some of the ideas the psychologist had given us.  I think he was suprised by this and of course this made him angrier.

During the course of his tantrum, he trashed his room.  I had sent him in there to calm down, knowing that was a possibility.  I had warned him when I saw him beginning to throw around toys that whatever mess he made, he would have to pick up later.  This did not deter him.  When he finished, I reminded him that he would have to pick up the mess prior to bedtime and that whatever was left on the floor, I was getting rid of.

He expected me to help him clean it all up and he ended up crying for an hour about the fact that I wouldn’t help him.  He really was in shock that I expected him to clean up his room (every inch was covered) and was completely overwhelmed by how to begin.  I encouraged him to sit down, have a snack and rest before he tackled the job.  When he was snacking and seemed to have calmed down we began to talk about the task before him.  He kept asking me why I wouldn’t help him.  I sat down, opened my bible and began to tell him the story of how Israel disobeyed God.

We had recently read about the Israelites behavior in the desert and how they had to wander there for 40 years because of their sin, so instead I started with what happened after David was king.  (David is one of his favorite characters in scripture and I often take advantage of that).  We talked about how Israel thrived under David’s leadership and how David loved and obeyed God.  I then read about the sins of those generations following David’s reign, how God sent them prophets to warn them and call them to repent and about the consequences for their sins.  We talked about what happened to the Northern and Southern kingdoms and about their time in exile (this includes Daniel’s story) I told him that just like God, I had to follow through on the consequences I give him.  We talked about how God had warned the Israelites about the consequences and how even though he loved the Israelites (they were his chosen people) he still could not tolerate sin.  I then read from scripture God’s promise of a perfect king, a perfect priest, a perfect prophet who would take the ultimate punishment for sins so that our relationship with God could be restored.  We looked at how the Israelites made sacrifices for their sins before Christ came and I had him imagine how often we would have to make sacrifices for our sin-including his sin from that very day.  For without Christ’s death on the cross for our sins, we would have no hope of heaven and eternity with God.  I ended our talk by reviewing one of the things we always talk about with the boys when they have sinned: the fact that we cannot obey without the help of the Holy Spirit and how when we pray and ask him to help, he will answer our prayer. 

After our talk, Ethan went straight to his room and spent the next hour cleaning it up. 

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