As the older child, Ethan has always been one to boss others around.  I remember him being not yet three and telling another child at the grocery store that they were sitting in the shopping cart incorrectly.  It’s only become more frequent as he has gotten older.  When you add the intelligence factor, it seems to make him more bossy.  How do you teach someone to have a Godly view of themselves?

One of the things that I do regularly is tell him that God gave him his ability to learn things quickly for a special reason.  God planned good works for us before the creation of the world and whatever attributes, skills or abilities He has given us, they are to be used for His glory.  “For we are God’s masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10  And so we talk about God having a plan to use Ethan for the building up of his kingdom-whether it’s as a scientist, a pilot, a teacher or whatever his calling may be.  One of the obvious reasons I tell him this is so that he would remember that his abilities come from God, not himself.  But an additional reason is that it is part of my blessing that I give him (see The Blessing).  Encouragement is often underused or misused with our children.  We are pretty good at saying “You’re such a good runner.” or “Your such a handsome little boy.”  But true encouragement is “the verbal affirmation of someone’s strength, giftedness, or accomplishment, along with the realization that God the creator is the ultimate source behind whatever’s being affirmed.” (see Unfashionable: Making a Difference in the World by Being Different).  “The secret to true encouragement is learning to see God’s reflection in others, not just in Christians but in everyone.  Encouragement is noticing God’s reflection in other people’s strengths and gifts, then verbally affirming what we see.” (Unfashionable: Making a Difference in the World by Being Different).

Now that he is around other kids of high intelligence, I have concerns that he will struggle with humility.  So in addtion to the blessing or encouragement I give him, I also remind him of what he can and cannot boast about.  He has come home saying something like “the other kids in my class notice that I am smart too because they copy what I am doing.”  We looked up and read this passage from Jeremiah and whenever he makes a comment like that, I remind him of what the scripture says:  “This is what the Lord says: ‘Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things.  I, the Lord, have spoken!’” 9:23,24.