God has been working on my worries and anxieties about my kids health, since, well actually since they were born:) It was a huge struggle for me to let go of anxiety with my oldest when we went through the whole sinus thing for two years, including two surgeries. One of the most difficult things I’ve ever done is watch my son leave to go into surgery. So, I’ve had to intentionally focus on the promises of scripture each time a new health issue arises.
When my oldest started kindergarten last year, he started having problems in the middle of the night. He was seeing shapes and colors and it scared him so much, he couldn’t go back to sleep. It only happened when he was over-tired (with my kids, when they are over-tired, they sleep poorly). I quickly ruled out hallucinations since they are of real things like rats, bats, bugs, spiders, etc. I decided not to worry about it and attributed his “visions” (that’s what he calls them) to stress and fatigue. He’s always had a very vivid imagination so I figured it was behavioral.
Then he started telling me he was seeing colored spots during the day, all day, everyday. I broke my own rule about searching medical symptoms on the computer (this usually increases my anxiety) and started researching his symptoms. I decided to start by taking him to a pediatric ophthalmologist. We’ve been twice now and his vision has been thoroughly tested and found to be perfect. His eyes and optic nerve are also fine. We kept a food diary for a week to rule out an ocular migraine. More and more as my son described the doctor what he sees, the doctor realized that it was related to his sense of sight. We talked about his giftedness and the fact that gifted people usually have more pronounced, vivid, and exaggerated senses. You know when you blink your eyes really tight and open them up quickly? You can see spots right? Well my son sees that all the time when he blinks normally.
So the doctor told me that he’s going to attribute his symptoms to his strong sense of sight. But he said if it worsens in any way the only other thing to rule out would be a seizure disorder. I am relieved that it’s not a major problem and he will just have to work on ignoring what he sees. And I’m not allowing my thoughts to even consider what to do if it worsens!
Hearing that his vision issues were probably related to his giftedness did not surprise me. Having our son labeled as gifted has been extremely helpful to us because before we knew that, he was a complete mystery. I know labels can cause problems are there are some negative aspects to it, but once I started reading about gifted kids, I discovered that all the issues we had dealt with made sense. So the problems with his vision does not surprise me because his other senses are very strong. For those who aren’t familiar, being gifted doesn’t necessarily mean being smart. People can be gifted artistically, musically, even athletically (think Michelangelo or Mozart). In addition to have exceptional reasoning skills and abilities in certain areas that us average folk aren’t, they have quite a few characteristics that make them unique. For example, everything with a gifted kid is exaggerated, over the top, pronounced, significant, and magnified. They have characteristics that sometimes get confused for ADD or autism spectrum disorders. They have more sleep issues than the average child-thus less sleep for the parents. They see the world in a completely different way than most so it’s hard for them to fit in or for other people to understand them (including their parents, imagine being Isaac Newton’s mom!). Their feelings are more intense and deeper than an average kid as well, which is why the littlest thing can be a big deal to our son. And so now, it seems, having pronounced senses can cause interesting “visions.”
I have to admit that I have at times wished for an average child (thankfully I found other parents online who have wished the same thing so the guilt is lessened slightly). I often feel completely inadequate and incompetent and have absolutely no idea how to help him with the various challenges he faces. But just like a parent who has a child with any kind of challenge I have to remember that God gave him to us for a purpose. Children are a gift no matter the package they come in. God has a plan for him and my job is to prepare him for what God has in store for him in the future. And each time something new comes up, be it behavioral or medical or anything else, I have to let go of my worries and trust in God’s will.
