The past few weeks I’ve been explaining our families GRACE acronym that describes our “Teach Me Jesus” philosophy. Today I’m posting about the letter A in GRACE-affirming the image of God in them. If you’ve missed the previous GRACE posts, click here.
I know too well the system of belief that encourages “boosting self-esteem” in children. With my background in psychology, I’ve read all the research, theories and ideas behind it. I don’t think that the problem is a lack of self-esteem but having a right esteem.
We live in a culture that devalues human life, making this concern for self-esteem a reality. A belief system that does not believe that God created the world and that humans were created in his image, cannot rightly esteem people. The Bible teaches the truth about how God views and values the people he created.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16
He has stamped his image on us and calls us his own. In an age where angels are often enamoured, we forget that we are of such importance to God that he chose to redeem us, but didn’t redeem the angels who also fell.
It is in this light that I come to explain more of what the “A” in the GRACE acronym means. When we raise children to see themselves as God sees them, as deary loved and worthy of Christ dying for, then they will have a right esteem and healthy self-concept.
It’s common for parents to praise children for their efforts and skills but end it there. I believe that we all need to be affirmed that God created a special calling and purpose for our lives. When children begin to show a skill, ability or talent, we need to point them to the God who created them. We need to remind them that their skills and talents were given to them to bring God glory. As the moon reflects the light of the sun,our abilities are to shine a light that points to God and His Son Jesus.
For those who’ve been reading this blog for a long time, you know we have a son who has been labeled as “highly gifted.” While labels can be difficult for some, and maybe even offensive, I think that at least the term “gifted” is accurate. My son has been given a gift by God to have certain abilities. These abilities are to be used not for his glory but for God’s. We have the challenge of having to continually remind our son of that. While the term “gifted” is used in schools for a specific population, we all in essence have been “gifted” with abilities by God. They are all different gifts and each one is essential. As parents, we encourage these abilities and help those talents to grow and mature. Ultimately, when our children are adults, they will use those skills for the building up of God’s kingdom.
Another aspect to this understanding of the abilities God has given us is to also realize that God has also created other people with gifts and abilities. Children start very early comparing themselves to others. Maybe it’s boasting to a friend that they are the fastest runner in the school or maybe it’s thinking that all the other kids are smarter than they. It’s important that our children view not only themselves rightly but other children as well. They need to see each person they come in contact with as another image bearer who is loved and special to God.
I often use the example of an artistic creation when explaining this concept to my children. They have an emotional attachment to each and every piece of artwork they create. And if it gets damaged or thrown away, they are very upset. I point out to them that when they mistreat another person, they are damaging a work of art that God created. Just like it upsets them for their art to be damaged, so too does God when we mistreat what he has made.
So whether our children are hurt by words from someone unkind, comparing themselves unfavorably to other kids, or bragging about their particular gifts, we need to always point them to their Maker and Creator. For it is in Him they will find their source of identity, right esteem, calling and purpose.
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I love the artwork analogy. So true!