Have you ever felt like marriage was a battle field? I love the title of the new book I am reviewing, “Love and War” by John and Stasi Eldridge. Since this year will be fifteen years for my husband and I, the title of the book intrigued me.

The authors point out how the bible starts out with marriage and ends in marriage. The marriage relationship is a significant metaphor in scripture for God’s relationship with his people. “God is a great lover, and he created marriage to play out on this earth a daily, living, breathing portrait of the intimacy he longs for with his people.”

We often forget this fact and get focused on the purpose of marriage as something that is supposed to make us happy. Everyone comes to marriage carrying their own baggage and this baggage often creates problems. We expect the other person to make us happy and when they don’t, those issues we brought with us into marriage comes between spouses. The authors describe us as “broken cups” and say “Two broken cups cannot possibly fill one another. Happiness flows through us like water through a volleyball net.”

They also point out that few couples realize how much Satan tries to influence their marriage. He uses our past experiences, issues from childhood, feelings of shame and abandonment to start battles with one another. It is important for spouses to join together to fight against the enemy. Instead of wielding our swords against each other, we need to stand back to back and fight against the real enemy.

In summary, the top three things the authors prescribe to help marriages is this: “1. Find life in God, 2. Deal with your brokenness, and 3. Learn to shut down the spiritual attacks that come against your marriage.” I found this to be a beneficial book on marriage and recommend it to anyone who has been married for a while and is facing trials and challenges in their marriage.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. The opinions are my own.