This is a follow-up to last week’s post about family rules. I believe that “teaching Jesus” to our children involves more than just verbal instruction. I like to teach my boys using a variety of formats and activities. I like to remind them of the lesson learned in different situations and from different angles. This helps to ensure not only knowledge of what the rules is, but why it’s a rule in the first place. Below is the first four of our family rules with discussion questions and activities.

1. With our whole heart, we love, honor, trust, obey and serve our Lord Jesus Christ.

This rule is modeled after the first commandment. It’s listed first because it’s the most important. Out of this rule flow all the others; when we obey this rule, the rest of the other rules naturally follow. Behaviors expected in this rule are: respect during prayer time, using God’s name appropriately, having a heart that desires to obey Him, participating in family devotions, prayer, and church activities, etc.

Passages to read: Exodus 20:3-11, Luke 10:27 and John 14:15

Discuss what it means to love God with your whole heart. What do we often fill our hearts with instead of God? Discuss what it means to show honor to someone, like a king for example. What does it mean for someone to commit treason against their country? Explain how loving anything other than God is like an act of treason to our Creator.

Consider doing an activity we call the “God shaped hole.” Draw an outline of a body. Draw a circle, or hole, In the area where the person’s heart would be. Cut pictures and words out of magazines of things we fill our hearts with rather than God and glue them on the hole. Discuss the concept of the God shaped hole. Another activity would be to decorate a treasure box and talk about Jesus being our hearts treasure. Another activity that can be done as a whole family: a collage of words and images describing all the blessings that have been given to us by God.

2. We listen, respect and obey our parents and those God has placed in authority over us.

Passages to read and discuss include: Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1, Colossians 3:20 and Proverbs 4:10-13.

Discussion: Pretend you live in a world where there are no rules or people in charge. What would happen? Why has God placed your parents over you? Discuss other chains of command that exist including that in the military or in the workplace. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to give you an obedient heart.

Write a thankyou note to parents or other authority figures, thanking them for all they do for you. Talk with someone who is or has been in the military. Ask them about the rules they have to follow and the consequences for violating them.

Consider reading the book “I’ll Love You Anyway and Always” by Bryan Chapell

3. We only use words that build one another up.

This rule includes foul language, put downs, and any unwholesome talk. Read and memorize 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Proverbs 15:1 and Ephesians 4:29.

Take turns telling each other three things you love about each other. Consider doing a building up activity. Have your child build a tower out of legos or other blocks and then you or someone else knock it down. Talk about how they feel about it being knocked down. Point out that when they say something unkind to someone else, they are tearing that person down.

4. We treat and respond to each other with kindness and respect.

This rule includes our attitude, our tone of voice as well as hitting, kicking, etc. Read and discuss: 1 Corinthians 13, Ephesians 4:32 and 1 Thessalonians 5:15.

Discuss: What are some practical things you can do to show kindness to each other? Have your children practice responding in kindness when someone does something they don’t like. Teach them how to use words to express their feelings. Have them practice regularly. The more we prepare for something prior to a problem, the more we are able to respond the way we learned.

For preschool age and early kindergarten children, consider reading the book “The Golden Rule” by Dandi Daley Mackall.

How do you teach your children your own family rules? I would love to hear your great ideas! Share your link in the comments.

Does your family have a list of rules? For the last few years, we had borrowed our family rules from the book Our 24 Family Ways (2010). I’ve realized that 24 was too many for our family so I changed our rules to a simple list of eight. Hanging on our bulletin board in the kitchen is the list of our family rules. It’s right next to the table we eat our meals at, making it convenient to review often. Since children do not enter this world knowing how God desires us to live, it’s our responsibility as parents to lovingly guide and teach them about the Path to Life. One practical way to do this is by having a list of rules and expectations for the family to follow. Children benefit from structure and from clear expectations. Having a list of rules hanging where everyone can see them can aid in their learning the rules, remembering them and understanding the expectations we have for them.

If you don’t already have family rules in your home, consider having a family meeting to discuss implementing a list of rules. A family meeting is also a great time to discuss the consequences for breaking the rules. Older children can help in coming up with the rules and consequences. When I did family therapy, I often helped families write down a list of rules in one column and in the column next to the rules were the list of consequences. For example, in our house, when my oldest says an inappropriate word he has a bible verse he has to write out.

I want for my children to not only know our rules but also understand the biblical reasoning behind them. When we review our rules we also read the supporting scriptures. Below is our list of family rules. Feel free to use them yourself and add additional rules that are particular to your family.

1. With our whole heart, we love, honor, trust, obey and serve our Lord Jesus Christ. Passages to read: Exodus 20:3-11, Luke 10:27 and John 14:15
2. We listen, respect and obey our parents and those God has placed in authority over us. Passages to read and discuss include: Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1, Colossians 3:20 and Proverbs 4:10-13.
3. We only use words that build one another up. Passages to read include: 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Proverbs 15:1 and Ephesians 4:29.
4. We treat and respond to each other with kindness and respect. Passages to read include: 1 Corinthians 13, Ephesians 4:32 and 1 Thessalonians 5:15.
5. We put others first, looking for ways to help and serve. Passages to read include: Mark 9:35, Philippians 2:3-11 and Galatians 5:13-14.
6. We tell the truth at all times. Passages to read include: Proverbs 12:22, John 8:44 and Proverbs 12:19.
7. We take care of our belongings and the things God has given us. Passages to read include: James 1:17, Haggai 2:8, 1 Chronicles 29:10-14.
8. We are content with what we have, having a heart of gratitude rather than a grumbling, complaining heart. Passages to read include: 1 Timothy 6:6,8 and Hebrews 13:5.

Next week: discussion questions, crafts and activities to do to reinforce family rules.

Does your family have a list of rules for your children? I’d love to hear about it. Add a link to your post in the comments.