“My sheep listen to my voice.” John 10:27
“Why haven’t you put on your shoes? It’s time to go!” I asked my son.
“Because you didn’t tell me to,” he responded.
“Yes, I did. Several times in fact. You were day dreaming and not listening to me. You need to always listen for the sound of my voice so you don’t miss out on my instructions.”
I become so frustrated at how easily distracted my children get…To read the rest of this post, visit Devotions for Moms, my writing home today.
I’ve had a frequent visitor in my life since adolescence. Sometimes this visitor warns me in advance of his arrival and sometimes he shows up with no notice. It seems like we would be close friends, considering all the time we’ve spent together. But in recent years, I’ve realized how nearly everything he says is a lie. These lies are audible only to me for they come from deep in my mind and heart where my visitor, named Depression, comes to stay.
Over and over, throughout the years, I’ve believed the lies. When faced with obstacles or trials, I hear whispers like, “It’s too much, you can’t handle it” and “You’ll never make it.” Other recurring lies have been, “You’re not loved or wanted.” “No one understands you.” “You’re ugly and can’t do anything right.”
These lies can become shouts that reverberate within my soul. And the echo lingers on for days, weeks, months, even years. I could be in the midst of a group of friends who care for me, yet the only thing I hear is the voice of Depression telling me I am not loved or even worthy of love. Every time I give in and believe those lies, the overwhelming feelings of sadness and despair threaten to drown me.
Do you have frequent visitors in your life? Perhaps instead of Depression, they might go by the name of Shame or Anger, Pride or Anxiety. No matter the name, they all bring with them lies that were birthed from the original lie spoken long ago in the Garden. And just like that first lie, the whispers of twisted truth steals joy and brings sorrow and despair.
But God, in His grace, has given us ammunition against the lies. When we use these weapons, we can better fight the battle raging within our own mind and soul.
Before Jesus began his ministry, he was in the desert for forty days. Physically, he was suffering from thirst and hunger. Yet His soul was fed and nourished from the word of His Father. Jesus was able to do what our first parents could not-withstand the lies of the Devil. How did He do it? With each temptation the Deceiver gave, Jesus responded with the very word of God.
In 2 Corinthians, the apostle Paul tells us to take every though captive to make it obedient to Christ (10:5). When I am confronted with a lie, I capture it and speak the word of God to my heart, making the lie powerless. It’s the very word of God who created the cosmos and the word of God who declared Jesus as His son on the river Jordan. It is also the word of God that teaches me that while I am more sinful than I ever thought, I am also deeply loved, more than I could ever imagine.
When I hear “It’s too much, you can’t handle it.” I remember these verses: “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” (Phil. 4:13) “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
When I hear “You’re not loved or wanted.” I remember: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:13,14) “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” (1 Peter 2:9)
When I hear “You should give up, you’ll never make it” I remember: “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 1:6)
The classic allegory, Pilgrim’s Progress, describes a scene where Christian was held captive in Doubting Castle by the Giant called Despair. Christian had the key of Promise tucked in his shirt and had forgotten about it. But once he remembered that he had it, he opened the doors of his prison and was freed to continue on his journey to the Celestial City. I too sometimes forget that I have the key to freedom from my own captivity to the Giant called Depression. When I embrace God’s promises found in His word, the lies of Depression become weak and lose their grip on my heart. My own prison doors open and I am set free.
When visitors like Depression, Shame, Anger, Pride, or Anxiety arrive at the door of your heart carrying luggage filled with lies, remember that you’ve been given the weapon to defeat them. The book of Hebrews tells us that God’s word is sharper than any double-edged sword (4:12). There is no lie that can stand in battle before the word of God and win.
And because Jesus perfectly fulfilled what Adam and Eve could not, we’ve been set free from our eternal prison. We are no longer hopeless and lost in sin and shame. Jesus’ perfect life has been given to us. With that life comes the power of the Holy Spirit who strengthens and empowers us to live for God. Our standing before God is secure; there is no lie that can threaten us. For “if the Son has set you free, you are free indeed.” (John 8:36)
“So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.” Romans 8:6
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Another box arrives at the door, filled with books for homeschool. I carry them to the school room and begin the process of unpacking and organizing them. Breathing out an audible sigh, these books remind me that summer is nearly over. The rest, relaxation, and the slower pace I have enjoyed will soon end.
My mind spins with the to-do’s I keep adding to my list. A new school year means that Scouting starts up soon. The ladies Bible study I teach will begin as well. The projects I haven’t finished this summer loom large. My stomach tightens as I think, “I can’t get everything done. There’s too much to do.”
Does your world spin too?
I’m over at Allume today. Click here to read the rest of this post.
I still remember that day in my undergraduate marriage counseling class. Insecure and broken, I came to college full of questions about my past, my purpose, my meaning, and my future. I wanted to understand the chaos I had left behind. Why was my family so controlled by fear, anger, and bittterness? What effect would my past have on my future? How did God fit into all of it?
That day, my professor introduced us to the “genogram.” The genogram is a tool used by marriage counselors to help gain a better understanding about a couple’s familial background. It is similar to a family tree, yet it includes information about the interpersonal relationships in the family, including dysfunction and discord. Like DNA helps us see the genetic markings for inheritable diseases, the genogram reflects generational dysfunctional patterns within a family.
As soon as my professor began describing the genogram, I felt an ominous shadow fall over me. I knew immediately what my genogram would look like. A sense of foreboding enveloped me. Overwhelmed and filled with despair; I was certain my future was etched in stone.
After all, I had fled to this mountain of refuge to escape the pains of childhood. Leaving my painful memories behind, I had hoped to start fresh with a new life. I believed that out on my own, hours away from home, my family’s legacy couldn’t find me. Yet, the further I got in my education, I realized just how hard it is to leave the past behind.
With the anniversary of my grandfather’s death having just past, I think about the legacy he was born into and the one he passed on. Born into poverty and raised in a broken family, he left school after eighth grade to help support his mother and brothers. Deserted by an alcoholic father, his family carried deep wounds that never seemed to heal. He fought in the army during WWII. Arriving one day into the Normandy invasion, he lived to recount his stories to me for years to come. Married to a tired and worn woman, my grandmother carried her own stories from a painful childhood. During the Korean War, when he learned of my grandmother’s emotional breakdown, he left the military to be at her side.
When I looked at my family history that day in college, I believed my life was doomed to remain bound by the chains of my family’s past. The mental illness with which my grandmother struggled all her life, I had seen passed on to others in my family. The dysfunctional styles of communication among family members never abated. The secrets, anger, cutting remarks, and bitterness all continued from one generation to the next. And that’s just one side of my family.
But even in the midst of darkness, there’s always a glimmer of light. After my grandfather’s father left the family, they went to live with his grandmother. While his mother worked multiple jobs, his grandmother helped raise him and his siblings. It was she who shared her faith in God and planted seeds of hope in his heart. It was she who passed on her legacy of faith which he in turn passed on to my father. While my family’s past is rich with pain and filled with hurt, broken, and imperfect people, God has always been at work.
I can look back and see the way He has been there all along, throughout the generations, weaving a story of grace. From a grandmother to a grandson to a son to a daughter to my own children, redemption’s story has been shared throughout the generations. While wounds may linger and scars take time to fade, they are a reminder of why we need a Redeemer and why He came to save.
I’ve learned that while the past has great influence on the future, it is never written in stone. While a genogram is helpful to lay out the past and see the impact it has had on a family, it is not a map for the future. It is only a history lesson and not a prophecy. It has been years since the day I faced my family’s genogram. Since then, my husband and I have been living out our own genogram, with God as the author and writer of our story.
God is in the business of redeeming and making all things new. He takes the stories of our past and redeems them for His glory and our good. He sent His Son, Jesus to break those chains that bind us. Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross frees us from our past and gives us hope for the future. He has given us a new family, one with a perfect Father who never fails, never leaves, and always loves. We are children and heirs of the Living God. We now have a new and perfect family story, a holy legacy, and a bright hope for the future.
Is your genogram riddled with brokenness and discord? Are you burdened with a painful family legacy? Know that Christ died to redeem your past and make a place for you in the family of God. You have been adopted and freed from the chains of the past. Do you know this freedom?
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1
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photo courtesy Christina Fox
photo courtesy Christina Fox
photo courtesy Christina Fox
There is something about a vacation that makes the heavy burdens of life fall off our backs. Everything seems brighter and clearer. The senses are heightened as we take in the beauty of God’s creation. Getting away is often restorative not only physically but spiritually as well.
God somehow seems closer the farther from home I get.
I was gone for three weeks this summer. To be honest, I didn’t want to return home (and I live in the land of vacations!). I didn’t want to lose the closeness to God I had experienced while away. I didn’t want the burdens of life to creep back on my shoulders. I didn’t want the peace in my heart to fade.
But does it really have to?
To read the rest of this post, visit Must Love God, my writing home today.
“And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.” John 1:16
I step onto the plane, pulling my suitcase and carrying my dreams. My mind is full with thoughts of the journey that lies ahead. Looking at my ticket to find which aisle is mine, I see the number “2.” I’m almost past first class, heading towards coach when I realize-row 2 is not in coach. Holding up the line, I turn around to find my window seat in the highly privileged first class cabin. What a surprise!
I text my husband and he responds, “I bought the seat as a gift for you.” And what a gift-room to rest and relax and think as I fly the two hours to my writer’s conference. My heart overflows with uncertainty. My stomach tightens with fear. I look out the window at the activity below, trucks buzzing around with suitcases lined up in rows. The book proposal that lies in the bag by my feet is a labor of love, my dreams spilled out onto thirty-one pages, Times New Roman font, and in 12pt font size.
With the questions and emotions swirling in my mind, I check my email one last time before turning off my phone for takeoff. I open a message from my friend, Nikki, telling me I won a drawing on her site for a necklace. When I originally entered the contest, I chose the handstamped necklace with the imprinted words, “because of grace” as my favorite.
Because of grace.
I wonder if perhaps this gift is a gentle reminder from my Father of where lies the source of all things in my life. These words point me to the truth that this calling He’s given me is by grace. The trip and opportunity to go to the conference is only through His grace. Just like the upgraded seat on the plane is a gift, so too are the very words I birthed into my proposal, a gift of grace.
And the outcome of this journey, it’s also because of grace. Whether my dreams become a reality or are put on hold, regardless, it is all because of grace. The pleasures I enjoy in life, the trials I endure, the discipline I undergo, and the very breath I breathe are all because of His grace.
While it was a random number generator that selected my name for the necklace, nothing is random with God. Each step we take, each challenge we endure, each and every moment of our journey in faith is purposed by God for our good. “God, who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from all eternity.” 2 Timothy 1:9 (NAS)
The daily life of faith is lived blind. We can’t see the future before us, requiring that we live in the moment. When our ears are tuned to hear His voice, we can walk by faith, following Him into our future. While the future is unknown, we can have complete assurance that it is good. It may not always include the plans we have in our heart today, but as I continue to learn, His plans are always best. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)
All Because of grace.
More grace-meeting friends from the blogging community at SheSpeaks
Courtney from Women Living Well
And Michelle Derusha from Graceful
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Seated in my favorite chair, the one by the glass doors where the sun’s rays shine on it each morning, prayer journal in my lap, I begin to write. I put words to the feelings in my heart, to the One who captures all my tears. The thoughts come quicker than my hand can pen them. The words become increasingly illegible, the words like groans only God could understand.
Then I hear the door bell ring. Packages have begun to arrive for this year’s homeschool. The delivery man places the large box at my door and walks away.
I remember, as a child that you had to sign for a package when it was delivered. These days, they ring the bell and leave, never waiting for a response. I open the door to retrieve the box and start to wave at the gentleman, but he walks briskly back to the truck, with no notice of me.
Isn’t that how I am with my prayers to God? I present them, neatly packaged, labeled properly in the ACTS fashion, and then walk away.
How often do I actually wait for His response?
How often do I just sit in His presence and enjoy being with HIm?
Not enough.
When I don’t just sit in His presence, I miss out on the beauty and wonder of knowing Jesus and the depths of His love for me. I miss out on the limitless fountain of joy that comes from drinking from the pure water He provides. I miss out on Him.
Instead of treating God like a candy machine- inserting my payment of good deeds and waiting for Him to release delectable joy into my waiting hands-what if my heart desired to only be with Him? What if my relationship with Him was about knowing Him instead of about Him blessing me?
Because after all, that is why we were created-to enjoy the same love the Trinity has enjoyed with one another for all eternity. God desires that we partake in that same love, and join in their dance of self-giving, other-serving, sacrificial love. He wants to show us the dance moves, teaching us how to love as He loves.
With the package delivery interrupting my prayers, I sit back down and pause in my writing. Instead, I meditate on this truth: “I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.” John 17:23
Do you need to bask in the joy of just being in His presence?
“More is available to us in Jesus Christ than we dare imagine. There’s more to Jesus Christ than we’ve ever dreamed. We experience so little of Him when we approach Him only with requests. We taste so little of the mouth-stopping, complaint-ending, desire-deepening awe that His presence creates when we think more about our problems and how to solve them than about meeting Him. We experience so little of the joy that sustains us in suffering and the hope that anchors us amid shattered dreams when we come to Him looking for the pathway out of hardships instead of the pathway into His presence.” -from The Pressure’s Off by Larry Crabb
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“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8
I am writing a book.
As I read those words, I shake my head. Me, really?
I’ve struggled with God’s will in my writing these past couple of years. Is this my calling? How do I know this is what He wants for me? Should I keep going or drop it altogether?
It’s my husband who believes in me more than I. He has encouraged me to attend a writer’s or bloggers conference several times and each time I’ve said, “It’s too much money.” The more he encouraged, the more I prayed and then finally said “Yes.”
But still I hesitate.
I don’t have thousands of followers and I’m not famous. Why would a publisher ever look at my writing? And what if I can’t? What if it’s just not in me?
Then I remember the way God works.
He takes the inconsequential and insignificant and transforms them into something amazing for His glory. He took Moses, weak in speech, and made him the leader of the Israelites-freeing them from slavery. He took Gideon, the weakest of his tribe to lead Israel in defeating the Midianites. He took David, the least of his brothers, and made him king over Israel. He took Mary, humble, young, and poor, and made her the mother of His Son. He took Peter, uneducated and awkward, and made him the founder of the church. And He took Jesus, His only Son, who took on human flesh, was born into poverty, one who wasn’t beautiful to look at, a son of a carpenter-to save the world.
He takes our “I can’t” and turns it into “He will.”
What can He do through me?
Through you?
Each time I begin to doubt this calling on my life to write, I pray, asking for His will to be made clear. I place it in His hands, asking Him to take it and do with it as He wills. I ask Him to shut doors, put up walls, erect barriers-all so that I would know that I need to stop.
But then He sends little gifts in the form of a comment, an email, an invitation to guest post somewhere, or an accidental meeting with a publisher-all to tell me to keep going. In a few weeks I head to SheSpeaks, a writer’s conference where I have a few appointments with publishers. I will bring my one sheet and my proposal, and walk forward, by faith and not by sight.
What will happen? I don’t know. Perhaps something. Perhaps nothing.
But no matter the outcome, He will be glorified and that’s all that really matters. It’s the reason why I write and it would be the reason why I would stop-For Him and His glory alone.
Won’t you please pray?
And if you haven’t already, would you please like my Facebook page?
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Word Filled Wednesday and Intentional.Me
“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:14-16
Being a mom can be quite wearisome, lonely, and challenging. It seems like the job never ends. Just when one mess is cleaned up, another mess is being made. Just when one child gets over an illness, the next one has caught it. We are pulled from every direction, literally and figuratively.
To be honest, some days I am tempted to quit and to hand in my resignation as a mom. Am I the only one?
To read the rest of this post, visit Devotions for Moms, my writing home today.
