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Finding What Our Heart Most Longs For

11. April 2013 · 1 comment · Categories: God's still working on me · Tags: contentment, desires, treasures

Running errands at the grocery store one morning, we walked past a display for Hotwheels cars. My youngest immediately asked, “Can I have a new car?” “No. You have tons of cars,” I answered. “I know. I need a new one though,” he said.

I can relate to my son’s response because my own heart is the same. I dream, plan, and seek after that one thing I think will make me satisfied. But whether it’s a new pair of shoes, new house, or new experience, once the newness wears off, I find that the happiness is no longer there. Discontentment settles in and I soon seek something else to replace it.

To read the rest of this post, visit Women of God Magazine, my writing home today.

Giving Up My Independence

09. April 2013 · 13 comments · Categories: God's still working on me, One Word

This year, my desire has been to seek God in deeper ways in my prayer life. Like every aspect to spiritual growth, there are always new discoveries to make, rich and awesome wonders to encounter, and deeper roots to grow in faith. As I explore the mysterious depths of prayer, I’ve come to a conclusion:

I am too independent.

In homeschool, my son and I are reading biographies of famous missionaries. Two that stand out in my mind are Hudson Taylor and George Mueller. These missionaires did not believe in raising support for their work. They believed so strongly in the power of prayer that they prayed for God to meet each and every one of their needs. Every. Single. One. The stories we have read of God’s provision are amazing. What strikes me the most, and what has pierced my heart, is how little of my life I entrust to God in prayer.

Like many Americans, I am not as dependent on God as are Christians in other countries. If I need food, I just go to the grocery store. If I need an idea for a school lesson, I browse Pinterest. If I experience a mysterious medical symptom, I look it up online. If I get lost on the road, I look at the GPS. I don’t live a life of dependence upon my Heavenly Father. Prayer is not my first instinct. Only when things get beyond my control do I stop and pray.

But I wonder, what would my faith look like if I prayed for everything? What if I prayed when I plan a school lesson? What if I prayed for parking spots? What if I prayed in the midst of our rushing around in the mornings? What if I prayed for opportunities to see God answer my prayers?

And then I think about all those things I just assume are unfixable and rarely stop to pray about-like my allergies or my internet connection that works intermittently or my son’s aversion to vegetables. What if I gave all of those things to God too?

“Prayer is the open admission that without Christ we can do nothing. And prayer is the turning away from ourselves to God in the confidence that He will provide the help we need. Prayer humbles us as needy, and exalts God as wealthy.” John Piper in Desiring God.

The gospel of grace tells me that I cannot save myself. Jesus came to rescue me from sin and death. My everyday prayers are a reflection of this same truth. Not only do I need a Savior for my sins, I need a Father who hears and answers my prayers each day. Just as my children depend on me to provide for them, I need to depend on my Father to meet my every need. My heart’s posture needs to be bent low, humble, expectant, helpless and trusting that God cares about everything that burdens my heart. The more I depend on Him, the more I give to Him in prayer, the greater is His glory and fame.

I am giving up my independence and depending on the One who gives me life, breath, and everything else. Will you join me?

Teach Me Jesus Thursdays: Gospel Moments

04. April 2013 · 5 comments · Categories: Parenting, Teach Me Jesus

My oldest gets in the car from a day spent at his enrichment program at the local school. Turning to his brother, he shares a joke he learned on the playground. Overhearing the joke, I tell him it is not an appropriate joke and explain why. We talk about how the Bible instructs us to only use words that build up and bless other people and I point out to him how the joke fails to do that.

Then my youngest says, “Because you want us to be in heaven with you, right mom?”

A gospel moment, right there in the car.

“Buddy, as believers in Christ, we will be in heaven whether we say bad words or not. We are saved by faith in Jesus, not the good things we do. We obey God, not because it gets us into heaven but because we are so thankful for what he has done for us. We obey because we love him.”

Gospel moments are everywhere: at the dinner table, at the playground, in the grocery store, and in the car. The opportunities to disciple and lead our children to the truth of God are endless. While many times I talk to my children about the gospel during planned times of instruction, there are even more opportunities that occur just in living out our daily lives.

And especially in the car. The questions I hear tossed to me from the back seat are unlike the ones I hear anywhere else. Driving down the road with less distractions, my boys seem to ponder and consider the realities of life more than they do at home where toys, tv, and other activities keep their minds busy.

I’ve been asked questions about life, death, heaven, world views, Satan, evolution, and more while driving around town. My prayer is that I would be aware of those opportunities and that God would prepare me to speak the truths of the gospel to my children’s heart.

What kind of car conversations have you had lately?

The Resurrection of Hope

02. April 2013 · 6 comments · Categories: Spiritual Growth

We recently traveled to Tennessee. Our suitcases were packed with the expectation that spring had arrived. Yet instead of sunshine, we were showered with snow. Winter has lingered long; the skies are dreary and the sun seems like a distant memory. Yet despite the frigid temperatures, I spotted optimistic flowers making their appearance, certain that spring will eventually come.

Because no matter how long an underground creature predicts winter will last, spring always comes, bringing a resurrection of light and new life after a frigid season of long dismal days.

My heart also follows seasonal patterns. I go through prolonged winters of grief, brokenness, sorrow, affliction and trials. I walk through dark valleys of depression that seem to never end. And just when it seems that the shadows have permanently enveloped me, the sun begins to radiate its light into my dark world. Like the buds on a tree opening toward the sun’s light, my heart feels the warmth of renewed life and opens in hope and expectation.

Following brokenness, sacrifice and death, resurrection of new life blooms, unfolding its wings to the light of faith.

Abraham knew something of resurrected hope. In Genesis 22, Abraham took his only son Isaac, on a long hike up Mt. Moriah. Carrying wood, and his father the fire, Isaac wondered aloud, “Where is the lamb for the sacrifice?” Little did he know that he was intended to be that lamb.

Abraham, however, did know what awaited Isaac at the top of the hill. Had he shared it with his wife before they left? Did she know what God called him to do? Perhaps he thought about the grief she would endure. I wonder about his thoughts as they made that three-day trip. Did he think back to all the joyous times he had with his son? Did they chat about fond family memories? When they made camp at night, did the brightly shining stars overhead seem to mock him?

Unlike Jonah, who centuries later ran from God’s command, Abraham obeyed God’s instructions and made plans to sacrifice his only son. He believed in God’s promise that he would have as many children as the stars that twinkled in the night sky. He walked forward through the cold darkness of sacrifice, believing that resurrection and new life would follow. He believed what Paul later told the Romans, “God works all things together for good.” (Rom. 8:28)

As Abraham stood there over his son, knife trembling in his hands, he looked in Isaac’s eyes for one last time. And just as he brought the knife down toward Isaac’s chest, the angel of the Lord stopped him. “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.” (Genesis 22:12) God then provided a substitute, a ram caught in the thicket. Abraham had shown that his love for God was greater than even his most favored possession, his own son.

Hope was resurrected after the dark journey of sacrifice.

The trek up Mt. Moriah foreshadowed Jesus’ own walk up Calvary’s hill. Jesus also knew what lay ahead of Him. He knew that this time it was He who was the substitute sacrifice. He obeyed, endured, and walked through the darkest night-for you and for me. He knew that sorrow, brokenness, and death pave the way for new life. Spring always follows winter; joy comes in the morning.

My heart’s most ominous and darkest winters have led to a resurrection of renewed trust and hope in God. Being broken before Him, laying my heart bare on the altar, and enduring trials for His sake- these are all sacrifices that give birth to greater joy and faith. Clinging to Him and hoping in His promises, despite the ever darkening skies that loom overhead, brings me closer in communion with Him. And believing that spring and new life will come, gives me the certainty I need to endure whatever trial and sacrifice that lie ahead.

Abraham’s faith led to a resurrection of Isaac’s most certain death; Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross led to new life for those who believe. In fact, it is because Jesus rose from the grave that we have the hope of new life forever. One day, all our seasons of brokenness and sacrifice will culminate in a final and complete resurrection. It is then that all our hopes will become sight and our tears forever wiped away.

Until that day, we can endure long winters, knowing that spring will come. And when spring finally arrives this year, each flower that blooms will be a beautiful reminder of the hope and new life that follows not only the dark seasons of our lives, but also of our ultimate hope in eternity.

Do you see evidences of spring and resurrected hope in your heart?

Updated from the Archives

Teach Me Jesus Thurdays: Our Sins Nailed to the Cross

28. March 2013 · Write a comment · Categories: Teach Me Jesus · Tags: Easter

This is something we’ve done at Easter the past couple of years. We are traveling right now and I haven’t found wood and supplies to do it this year but I thought I’d share what we’ve done here with you.

How do you explain to a child what happened at the cross? How can they completely grasp what it means to have their sins forgiven when we’re still struggling to grasp it ourselves?

This Holy Week we have followed Jesus as He entered Jerusalem on a donkey. We have read and discussed everything that happened during those final days. We’ve hung our ornaments on our Resurrection Tree, a reminder of each step in the journey to the cross.

We’ve now followed Jesus as He carried the cross up Golgotha’s hill. I stand with the kids and look at our Savior, His arms stretched out, a symbol of the breadth of His love. I talk with them about the sins laid upon Him; our past, present, and future sins nailed to the cross. We talk about the forgiveness of God for those who believe. The boys name some of their sins that Jesus died for. We talk about the kind of love that would die for someone else and of a Perfect Love that died for the imperfect and ungrateful.

And we nailed our own sins to the cross, in memory of what Jesus did for us.

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.” Galatians 5:24

The One Story That Moves Me Most of All

25. March 2013 · 6 comments · Categories: Gratitude Community, Spiritual Growth · Tags: Easter

This is an updated post from the archives. I though it was appropriate as we prepare for Holy Week.

I once held the hands of a rape victim while we sat in a hospital waiting room. We spoke different languages, but I could read her story in her two black overflowing pools. They spoke volumes, without a word being spoken.

I’ve sat with parents in court while they watched their child brought forward to speak to the judge. They saw their child’s hands chained. Their striped clothing was a glaring reminder of where their child had just been. We talked of their disappointment, confusion and sadness.

I’ve listened to women recount stories of their spouse’s rage. They trembled in fear, visibly shaken as they talked. Their eyes looked off into the distance, seeing memories they wish they could forget. We took photos of their wounds and bruises and kept them safe.

I’ve had a child talk to me about finding his mother dead, by her very own hand. Little by little, we talked about the lasting horror, bitterness, and pain.

Over the years, I’ve heard countless stories of pain, abuse, loss, and fear. Many caused my eyes to burn with unshed tears. Some mirrored my own pains. And each one moved me to compassion.

But the story that moves me most is the one story that all the others point to. It’s a story of pain that was written to heal our pain. It’s a story of loss that was written so that we might gain.

It’s the story of Easter.

This next week, we celebrate how God Himself stepped into the story of redemption, becoming man and living in this world of sin and sorrow. He joined us in our pain, experiencing it for Himself: sorrow, temptation, despair, humiliation, rejection, torture and death. He penned a story of healing in blood-His own blood. As Tim Keller has written, “God takes our misery and suffering so seriously that he was willing to take it on himself.”

God knows each of our stories. He knows each and every ache and sorrow. He hears the deepest cries of our heart. The story of Easter is God’s response to the stories of pain that we all share.

The wonder of it all pierces my heart; God becoming man and dying for me?

My mind cannot comprehend it-a holy, perfect God lowering Himself into the mess of my life. All the tears I’ve cried, He’s caught each and every one. He’s taken my story of brokenness and written in His own prose of grace. He became broken so that I would be made whole. He died so that I might live.

The story of Easter begins with death but ends at resurrection. And it’s because of Jesus’ resurrection on that first Easter morning that we have been freed from the chains of eternal death. And one day, we will enter the next chapter of that endless story where words like pain, sorrow and brokenness don’t exist and instead there is only happiness and joy.

“But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story, which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.” The Last Battle, C.S. Lewis

But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. Isaiah 53:5

Linking up with:

Teach Me Jesus Thursdays: The Heart’s Treasure

21. March 2013 · 4 comments · Categories: Parenting, Teach Me Jesus

“Mom, you’ll buy us a new toy on our next trip, right?”

My kids are bombarded everyday with advertisements to buy new things. They receive a free lego magazine in the mail where they see all the new sets they could buy. They pour over it, circling the items they want to save their allowance for. Even after getting a new toy, all too soon, I hear, “Mom, I’m bored!”

“What about the new legos you just got?”

“I’m done with them.”

“Already?”

My heart is the same way. I want something new and then soon after I get it, I want something else that’s new. My heart is never satisfied. It’s because I fill it with temporary things that can never fill the place in my heart made for God alone.

This is a topic I talk to my children about all the time. They’ve memorized Matthew 22:37. We talk about what it means to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind. We’ve done activities to help them think about the idols in their heart. And my ongoing prayer for them is that God would be their first and greatest love.

Recently, I found small wooden treasure boxes at the craft store that I knew my boys would love to use to put their small collections of shells and other finds inside. They decided that instead of painting them, they wanted to draw on them with permanent marker. While they colored, I read to them the story of the man who found a treasure in the The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name. We then talked about what it means for Jesus to be our greatest treasure. I told them that every time they look at their treasure box, it is a reminder of who their greatest treasure is.

And as for new toys, I told my son that day that if they weren’t going to play with the toys they have, I would get rid of all of them and give them to someone who would appreciate them. Later on, I found they had gotten out their long forgotten Tinker Toys and constructed a tower out of them.

How do you like to point your children to their greatest treasure? I’d love to hear your fun, creative ideas!

Linking up with:

Healer of Our Souls: Our Sovereign God

20. March 2013 · 10 comments · Categories: Anxiety, fear, God's still working on me, Spiritual Growth · Tags: The Healer of Our Souls

This is another post in the series The Healer of Our Souls. This series is intended to show how God’s word is the source of healing for all wounds in our soul. To read the other posts in this series, click here.

I sit in the doctor’s office, feeling a sense of deja vu. It was four years ago that my oldest son had sinus surgery. Now I’m here again with my youngest, hearing the news all over again.

As the surgeon rattles off a list of four procedures my youngest son needs, my stomach tightens. Tears burn my eyes. I feel a panic rise up. Not again. Not my baby.

But because I’ve been down this road before, I know where it leads: fear, anxiety, worry, despair. Not this time.

No, this time, I cling to this truth: God is sovereign.

When life’s circumstances threaten to undo me, I have to rest in the sovereignty of God. This is where the rubber meets the road-do I really believe God is in control of all things? If I do, then He is most certainly in control of my son’s health. This did not hit him by surprise. He is not panicked. He’s not wondering what’s wrong and scratching His head about what to do.

In fact, God has allowed this situation for a reason and it’s in His perfect plan that I place my trust. I know that He loves me and my son. Because He promises that all things work together for our ultimate good, I know that good is what will come of it. He knows how much I love my son. He even knows what it’s like to see His own Son suffer.

He is in this and He’s got this.

God’s word is the source of healing for the wounds in my soul. It reminds me that the same God who formed the sun, moon, and stars cares about me. It reminds me that the same God who uses the earth as a footstool loved me before the earth existed. It’s this God who promises to never leave me or forsake me.

And it’s there, in His word, that I find the comfort I need today:

“Who has gone up to heaven and come down? Whose hands have gathered up the wind? Who has wrapped up the waters in a cloak? Who has established all the ends of the earth? What is his name, and what is the name of his son? Surely you know!” Proverbs 30:4

“Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way? Who was it that taught him knowledge, or showed him the path of understanding?” Isaiah 40:14

“He who forms the mountains, who creates the wind, and who reveals his thoughts to mankind, who turns dawn to darkness, and treads on the heights of the earth- the LORD God Almighty is his name.” Amos 4:13

“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” Job 42:2

“The LORD does whatever pleases him, in the heavens and on the earth, in the seas and all their depths.” Psalm 135:6

“Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Luke 12:7

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Philippians 1:6

“He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 1:8

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

Are you resting in His sovereign love today?

Faithful in the Waiting

18. March 2013 · Write a comment · Categories: God's still working on me · Tags: Exodus 32, faithfulness, waiting

I do not like to wait for anything. Patience and I are half-hearted acquaintances rather than close friends. The problem is, life requires waiting-waiting in line, waiting for my children to get ready, waiting for the computer to wake up, etc. Not only that, but the Christian life includes waiting-waiting for answered prayer, for His provision, for direction, and ultimately for His return.

Do you struggle with waiting? I’m over at Domestic Kingdom today sharing my struggles with remaining faithful during times of waiting. Click here to read the rest of this post.

Review and Giveaway: Memory Wall Mural

15. March 2013 · 26 comments · Categories: Teach Me Jesus

I recently had the privilege of trying out a Memory Wall Mural. Designed and created by artist, Heidi Bashoor (she also did the designs for the Child Training Bible), this reusable mural is made to stick on a wall and be written on. Beautifully designed and created in several different colors and sizes, it can be written on over and over.

Heidi’s desire is to help children memorize scripture and this mural is a fun, creative way to do that. I’ve hung mine in our school room. We memorize a new passage each week in homeschool so I simply write the verse on the mural and wipe it off with a clean damp cloth when I am ready to write a new one. It’s like having a pretty wipe off board:)

Stop by Two by Two Art’s Facebook page and like it so you can receive updates on new work by Heidi.

One special reader will receive their very own Memory Wall Mural. Each Memory Mural Kit comes with a Memory Mural (cut), one Wet erase Marker, and Bible lessons on memorizing for adults and kids, as well as a drawing lesson and coloring page. Simply leave a comment below and you will be automatically entered to win one medium sized mural in the color of your choice. Random.org will select the winner on March17 at 8:00pm EST. Update: Jenna is the winner of the Memory Wall Mural. Congrats, Jenna!